You’re Not a “Plan B” Kind of Girl

Yes ladies yes! And parts of this apply to the fellas as well. If someone, male or female, is crazy about someone they don’t play games, or hard to get, or keep you guessing. Hold out for the fantastic, wonderful relationship that God has planned for you!

Ashlin Horne

DeathtoStock_Spring7You deserve better than someone who is afraid to commit to you. It may seem like enough for now. You’re just taking things slow. Oh, how I know those little phrases of “one day” and we just need time.

You believe them.
And I’ve believed them.

But you’re not a plan B kind of girl.

You need to know that you’re not the invisible one standing in the back who gets chosen last.

You’re the girl who the team captain will be frantically hoping doesn’t get picked by someone else before he gets a turn. You’re a first-pick kind of girl. And no one worth having sits back and lets those girls wait around.

‘Cause every good man knows that the good ones get gone fast.

He should be jumping out of his skin in anticipation to call out your name and say “I pick you.”

“But he’s…

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I’ve been watching a lot of Netflix with my dog

Sometimes being single kind of sucks. My old roommates and their boyfriends/fiances recently had a couples lake weekend. I unfortunately am only half a couple so that was out. My best friends are a couple, that are soon to be engaged. I love them both but although we are all friends, I am ever more the third wheel in that hangout. My best friend of all time graduated and moved to live in the same city as her fiance, we now rarely see each other. In fact nearly all of my friends are in relationships or trying their best to start them… so I’ve been watching a lot of Netflix with my dog lately. While she is great at cuddling and licking tears off your face when you cry during Fox and the Hound (yes, STILL! Just because I’m 23 doesn’t mean I don’t have a heart anymore), it isn’t quite the same as having another person there.

In the past I have been a serial monogamist. Consistently dating or talking to someone, though never exactly the right kind of someone. I was constantly giving a little in my list of requirements. I don’t mean budging on those insignificant things like the guy loved cargo shorts (which I hate) or was a Cardinals fan (which is practically a sin from the perspective of a UK fan), but on the biggies. Extent of physical relationship desired, differences in religion, complete lack of religion in some cases, etc.

During this recent stint, which is my longest since high school, of being alone, I have really found myself, and more importantly reconnected with my Father. I am alone in my one bedroom apartment with my dog, but I am very full of love and hop in my heart. My friends are getting married and having babies and sometimes it’s hard. I’m a nanny, I love babies, and I can’t wait to bring one into this world of my own, but the more time I spend in this place where I am right now the more I get it. If God had brought me the man he has plans for me to be with 2 years ago, I would have destroyed that relationship with the choices I was making at that time. I could decide I’m sick of being single and probably find someone to date who is feeling the same way, but that’s how I ended up in those less than godly relationships in the past. God is grooming me and sculpting me into the woman that chases after Him. His timing is perfect. And if it is in his plan for me the godly man, and the family will come at the perfect time. If that is not his plan for me I will continue to chase after Him knowing that He doesn’t make mistakes and that His dreams for us are 10,000x bigger than we with our little brains and hearts can even begin to imagine.

So I will use this time to work and grow. I will use this time to know myself and know God. I will use this time to do His work, to seek Him, and I will do this with the comfort of knowing that though my apartment may be empty, my heart, my spirit, and my Netflix queue are always full.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.-Joshua 1:9

God Bless,


Falling Out of Love

Fellowship. Worship songs. Church camp. Youth group outings. Lock-ins. Potlucks. Hugs. Being called “sister” by people not remotely related to me by blood. Having a copy of nearly every translation of the Bible. Being able to predict which song we would only be singing “the first, second, and last verse”  of (for the record it was almost always Just As I Am). Being the first kid in class to memorize the books of both the Old and New Testament. Inviting the most kids to VBS. Easter egg hunts. The elderly lady that handed out suckers ever week to my brother and I. Angel trees. The list goes on and on and on. 

What is this a list of?!?!?! Fun fellowship activities? Things kids love about church? I’m going to answer that Jeopardy style What are the things I was busy falling in love with about church that kept me from realizing I hadn’t fallen for the most important part, Alex.  Continue reading

Getting It Together

Have you ever had someone tell you you needed to get it together? I heard it said frequently to my older cousin the perpetual student, as we were growing up. I remember thinking to myself, “Why doesn’t he just get it together and make it easier for everyone?” I believe I’ve mentioned before that my time in the distant land was far from brief. During that time I lost a lot, relationships with friends and family, focus, time, and often times integrity. I spent a solid couple of years partying it up and living the “good” life. I pushed my family away, I lost my church friends, I failed my classes. Getting it together isn’t all that easy as it seems from the outside looking in. Continue reading


בת סוררת (Prodigal Daughter)

The weird thing about most sin is that you often don’t seem to feel the pain or hurt that it’s causing you or others while you’re doing it. Or maybe that’s just us being self-absorbed human beings. I spent a long time in the “distant land” like the prodigal son. Have you ever noticed that while you’re in the distant land is seems like God is constantly trying to get your attention? Sometimes it’s in the form of an old youth group friend reaching out to you and sometimes it’s in the look your dad gives you over Christmas break when he says he can tell something isn’t right and begs you to open up to him promising that though he may not be thrilled, it won’t change the way he loves you, and sometimes you ignore, block out, and push all those warning signs out of sight for as long as you can. Or is that just me?

Continue reading